My recent life is quite hard. Actually, I don’t want to write these sentences but I also want to type them down just to save some moments in my life. The main reason is that I can read this post again, look back, and maybe laugh (or cry, who knows???).
I think I have some mental problems right now. Maybe it’s just like the normally bad time I went through before but I can not stop thinking about it. I still have no job, just stay at my room, do freelance job, sell somethings on internet and do bullshit. Absolute bullshit.
I remembered the day I decided to get a haircut. At that moment, I felt so bad, nothing could raise my mood up and I just lay down on my bed all day. I cried, got up and made something to eat. And at this night, I sent a message to the hairsalon saying I would come in and get my hair cut the next day. And now, short hair, shorter than usual.
And once I thought about my future, I cried a lot. I did not know how to stop myself from tears. My friends worried about me and they told me that I should go outside often to ease my bad mood. The more they cared about me, the less I wanted to tell them anything. Just because when I shared something, it was the bad things, the negative words with the low and hopeless voice. I tried to be nice and open-minded with my friends, but I coundn’t. I am seeing the world with the gray tone. It’s fucking hard.
But, anyway, I’m so thankful for so many advice that my friends gave me.
I know that I have to spend my time to change my viewpoint, my mindset or the other bad things on me. I wanna get rid of toxic thoughts.
Dont know why I upload this post but… i posted. Insane!
Drop the song which fit my mood right now.